IFOKTHANKERS

Dear gop, I believe I am expressing every single player's sentiments when I write that I absolutely adore this auction-based card game that you have invented! Every time I play, I am thrilled by the way you manipulate not only the hole cards, but also the cards at the table. The method you've created, that is to determine the table cards, flop, turn and river, not randomly, but depending on the betting of the players, is, in my opinion the 2nd best invention of human kind after sliced bread. Moreover, the technique whereby 90% of folded hands in sit & go tables become the winning hands, hence enabling your average thanker to believe he/she can do it next time is also absolutely brilliant. In addition, the 3-consecutive-times-allin trigger, which allows thankers to bypass conventional wisdom, experience, knowledge and statistics, and turn that 3-8 off suit into the powerhouse it always deserved to be, deserves an oscar, a grammy and a pulitzer in and of itself, no questions asked. I could go on forever, but I won't! Since, I am obviously BEGGING you to leave that version of card game COMPLETELY UNTOUCHED, or even maybe (though that seems impossible right now), find even more creative ways to manipulate cards, so as to truly infuriate, pardon me, excite your players. My question is: Would you ever consider creating a table (let alone a section!) where players could enjoy a game of texas holdem poker? You know, old-style? Like, with all the rules, statistics and overall experience that resemble what most of us have seen or lived at other, more "normal" platforms and in real life? I happen to be able to assist you in creating such a section or table, as I have access to the (yes!!) A_C_T_U_A_L card odds, which I would be more than happy to share with you, should you indeed decide to go crazy! Or do you plan to YOLO all the way, ON FIRE (nba jam-style) into auction heaven? Please let me know THANKS!

γαμώ τις πουτάνες τις μανάδες σας μπάσταρδα, με το στημένο το γαμωπαίχνιδό σας, κουραδόμουλοι.

Continuous game delays and crashes during team challenge is yet another, BRILLIANT marketing tool the governor of auction geniuses have devised, to make players even more addicted to this "product". Most often, NO TABLE is available at regular speed, other times it just crashes, naturally when you are trying to bet or have already won the hand but cannot claim the chips. Truly excellent work GoAuction team, THANKS!

You are right, I didn't phrase it carefully. Fixing hands is what governor of auction does, as per its trolling algorithm. What teammates do is communicate via the team chat, when they sit on the same table, and so they know each other's hands, and either avoid playing against each other, or trap idiots like me. As if it were that hard for governor of auction developers to block teamchat when a player is seated at a table. Meanwhile, "they are trying to find a solution" ??. Hope you find teammates soon!

This is indeed FANTASTIC news! Not only does it address EVERY SINGLE concern and complaint raised by auctioneers both here and in facebook in a staggering fashion, it also allows for EVEN MORE players to fix hands through the team chat, thus making the auctions even more surreal for those who continue to treat this as a poker game. So, yes, THANK YOU Governor of Auction!

Repetition is the mother of learning,

Watching the live stream will only confuse you, and may trick you into believing that this is actually a poker game, which you play against other players. It's not, you are fighting against the gop Trolling Algorithm, and your only opponent is the game itself and the auctioning scheme they have devised.. If you want to understand how the trolling algorithm works, you may post your questions here, and someone will most probably respond. The gop staff are too busy fine-tuning the trolling algorithm into the most satanic troll of today's internet. Hope this helps clarify some common misconceptions about this auctioning platform.

Muahahahahah, only a few minutes after you guys read my most recent eulogy, the following takes place: flop 9-10-7, I raised preflop with pocket 9s. Guy bets 1/3 of the pot, I double that, and he goes allin. I call of course, and see his cards, he has Q7. Even your average thanker can guess by now, that turn and river, were, OF COURSE, 7 AND 7! Now the question: This hand turned out in such a way because (guess the correct answer): 1) It's LUCK, stupid! Gop uses the best available technology to ENSURE that cards are dealt R-A-N-D-O-M-L-Y. Good LUCK for him, bad LUCK for me. 2) HE WENT ALLIN, DUMBO! ALLIN gets prioritized in this auction game, in the instances where the hands have been FIXED by gop pre-flop in such a way as to encourage players to believe they all have playable hands. 3) The gop staff on duty turned the algorithm lever to ULTRATROLL for this hand in particular. For all your IMMEDIATE, HONEST and TO THE POINT answers in this topic, all I can say is, naturally, THANKS!

Did any of you gop guys accidentally miss-clilck the "WIN ALL FOLDED HANDS" today? It's usually around 75-80%, but today it is exactly 100%. If I didn't know that this is really a poker game I would get into suspicions, you know, that this result is, how should I describe it, pre-determined? We wouldn't want anyone thinking that this is anything but a poker game, would we now? ps. You ARE what you promote really (already mentioned what that is), you are what you do every single day, each and every SINGLE one of you. Good luck living with that. THANKS!

Question 1: At my 14th CONSECUTIVE sit & go loss just now, I had a wonderful instance: I lasted about 14 hands and played 10 of them, hence folded 4. 2 of the folded ones turned into (you WOULDN'T BELIEVE IT MY DEAR GOP) QUADS, and a STRAIGHT FLUSH. WOW! So, I was wondering, is the trolling of your customers at such an advanced level done also automatically, just like your regular daily auctions, or is this the manual work of a mastermind? My friend who knows a lot about programming claims that it can be easily achieved automatically. I don't doubt him, nevertheless I believe that you rascals like to serve your preferred customers individually. THANKS! Question 2: How soon after a player actually pays for chips or gold, do you turn the switch to "ok, let him win a bit so that he is encouraged to repurchase"? I am on a fantastic losing streak with my 14 losses, could easily bring that up to 20 in no time, and would certainly not like to risk ruining that fantastic, statistically sane and overall REALLY plausible streak. THANKS! Question 3: Are there any thankers reading us here by any chance? If yes, given that I have been permanently banned from chatting, and regardless of whether they have thanked me personally, I want to take this opportunity to "thank" them back, and send my warmest regards to their beloved family members! THANKS!

Ok, we all know by now that going allin with garbage consecutively, activates the gop trolling algorithm, giving the allin player the nuts thereafter, and CONCURRENTLY the other players reasonably good hands to fall for the trap, or consecutively trash hands, so that they really understand that the only way to "beat" the game (cause it's the game you're playing against, not other players) is to do exactly the same. To top it all, you then also enable the folded-hand-turns-into-nuts add-on, when the fish decides to not go allin with that 82 offsuit, after having lost about 83% of their stack, to thanking alliners. Question: Do you consciously lie to the community when claiming to be looking into cheating tactics and players, and just sit back and enjoy a great laugh amongst yourselves when idiots like me try to treat this as poker? Or do you actually believe that you are running a poker platform? THANKS!

13 or 14 (obviously lost count) CONSECUTIVE sit & go losses at the same table in about 2 and a half hours, only reached last 2 in 3 or 4 of them with minimal stack, a couple of 0,00038% chance losses, and about 90% folded hands that would have won (as opposed to my overall 1/7 success rate), just today, in 2 and a half hours. OBVIOUSLY data available to all, should you dare (ahahahhahaha) publish the logs. You've outdone yourself with the trolling hand algorithm today gop, gotta give credit where it's due. My question is, do you participate in any global customer satisfaction competition nowadays? I would LOVE to vote for you and support the noble cause you're pursuing: redefining the way humanity perceives statistics, actively promoting sportmanship and proper table behavior, and, ABOVE ALL, truly listening in to customer feedback. THANKS!

I could, but no, thanks.

I just noticed how sweet and sportsman-like your chat "suggestions" are, gop. Promoting bastardery, sonofabitchery and the overall wonderful qualities a humanoid can possess, and a behavior that would cost them half their teeth and a broken jaw in real life. My question is, did you hire a psychology phd to assist you in promoting these chat functions, or was it another one of your "out of the box" fantastic ideas to create a better game and a better world? THANKS!

So, the new version of the game not only gets stuck during hands, but opens up the yuda facebook page or the itunes store page, randomly, WHEN YOU CLICK BET, ahahahha. Another truly innovative update by gop, just to keep us happy until they figure out how to stop cheaters at big win, it's only been like 6 months since they promised. THANKS!